If his leaving you still hurts 2 years later, 5 years later, 10 years later; it's not the end of the relationship that you're upset about. If you're asking your mutual friends about his new girlfriend, or stalking his social media pages in the aftermath of your love experience, it has nothing to do with wanting him back. The reason you can't let go--short of being a 1/4 cup of crazy--may be that you're unable to figure out what's wrong with you; why you weren't good enough; and why you weren't enough to fight for. Which means it's your ego that can't handle reality. Listen... whether he left you for good reason, no reason, or a shitty reason, he's gone. And if he didn't appreciate you, be thankful that's he's gone. If he didn't love you, be thankful he's gone. If he didn't treasure you, be thankful he's gone. We spend so much time trying to hold on to something, when it's nothing. And that's a problem. It's a problem because somehow "just having" that "something" validates us, even when it fails to satisfy us. Stop JUST wanting a man. Stop JUST having a man. Stop JUST desiring a man. And make a decision to WANT a loving man, BE IN A RELATIONSHIP with a caring man, and SETTLE FOR NOTHING LESS THAN an honest man, a faithful man, a responsible man. The inability to let go ultimately rests in how you see yourself. The inability to walk away means that you believe yourself to be the best fit for this person, even if they happen to be opposite for you. It's okay to not be compatible. It's okay to grow apart. It's okay to have a greater chemistry with someone else. Your tears cleanse you and time heals you, but in order to grow and prepare yourself for the man that you're worthy for, you've got to let HIM go.
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible
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