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Just A Thought (TBT; 2014): 

12/8/2016

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​‪#‎Control‬ has NO place in love...and what many find out the hard way is that when you choose to be in a ‪#‎relationship‬ with a man who controls it (and YOU), he has all of the power in the relationship. ‪#‎AllOfIt‬!!! If you're begging him not to leave you (when he's the one that fu^%*d up), he knows he can have his way. If you're overlooking inappropriate behavior, your limits, standards, and expectations become null and void, and therefore, don't matter. And if he knows he has no consequences, what do you think he's going to do? ‪#‎PlayersPlay‬. ‪#‎Hard‬. But seriously, why would any adult want to be with someone they have to parent? [It doesn't matter, in this instance, whether you're the good guy or the bad guy, the predator or the prey.] If ya'll gotta babysit, somebody in the relationship isn't ready for a relationship. When he loves you, he's loyal; he's helpful; he's motivating. But when he's insecure and controlling, he takes advantage of you; he belittles you; he ‪#‎manipulates‬ you; he lies to you, and ultimately, he shapes you for his purpose. Control, ladies, is not‪#‎love‬. And love is NOT compromising everything that you are and everything you believe to please him or make him feel at ease. Each time he controls you with his tongue, his fists, or his actions, you lose a little more of yourselves. ‪#‎TrustMe‬. And let's not confuse this with guidance, or a genuine concern for your well-being; those things center around his caring for you. Control, on the other hand, is selfish, cruel, and conniving. Care has '0' to do with that equation. #TBT #2015
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible
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    Author

    I, Kanika Vann (writer, author, editor, journalist, poet, publisher, and love enthusiast), created Love: Possible© with the intent to help save my sisters from the unnecessary pain that accompanies the acceptance of confusion, dysfunction, and disrespect in our romantic relationships, but not without calling special attention to our most valuable relationship—the one we have with ourselves.

    Subsequently, both my book and my website seek to help salvage our realistic expectations and eliminate our unrealistic beliefs. With these words, I aim to transform misconception into certainty, and disillusion into faith, in hopes that you'll each come to recognize who you are, what you are, and what you deserve.

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