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Just A Thought (Single Siempre): 

11/18/2014

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PictureCourtesy of: Yahoo!
Ok, so I came across this "text" on Yahoo! today. What do you all think of a man (or woman) who breaks up with you over a text message? [Personally, I think it's both childish and inappropriate.] But what about the reasons he lists as being the causes for their separation? It's quite clear that he felt invisible to her [I wonder if he ever mentioned this]. Now, some people will see this woman as one who lacks morals, doesn't appreciate her man, and is mean to animals. But I see a man that settled for a woman he should've never been with; a couple unequally yoked, with so few things in common that they've found very little that brings them together (i.e., they can't grow in their relationship). 

1. Not updating your Facebook page to reflect your relationship status may seem sneaky, but it depends on who you're coupled with. If you have a hoe on your hands, just let it go. #LoveTKO [Side note; Why is he FB stalking you? #WTF!] Besides, we've already had this conversation; if he/she can't be trusted...well, you know the rest. 

2. Number two on this list, is in fact, a valid reason to break up with someone. Not being or feeling included in their lives likely means they're not claiming you or that you just weren't that important to begin with. The rest of these are a solid combination of unrealistic expectations, idealism, and tomfoolery. 

3. Date a man or woman who has a few things in common with you (e.g., shares your compassion for animals). Trust that it makes for a few less arguments when you see eye-to-eye. 

4. If you expect to have a successful relationship, you can't disregard your partner, or your relationship. If you do, it means you're not in one. But remember: people need their space and shouldn't be expected to spend every waking moment with you. [You can't smother him/her.] You've gotta have some #Balance. 

5. I can admit that I curse like a motherfu%&!# sailor (although, I can turn it off and on), but if the man I'm with doesn't like it, why did he make the choice to stay in my presence? Don't hope that your partner will change. It's very likely they won't; it's who they are. We all have to realize that people are who they are. And if who they are isn't someone you can live with, sorry...(in most cases), it's here to stay. #Next 

6. The sexual partners thing is a toss up. Some people care, some don't. But it's very clear that this guy wants his lady to be as close to the "virgin" end of the spectrum as possible. [Unrealistic.] 

In the end, he needs a woman who loves cats, spends all of her free time with him, constantly puts their love on display for the world to see, invites him to every social function she attends, does not curse, and has been virtually untouched by other men. [Hey Bobo, I hear Christian Mingle is inexpensive]. People...get your wants in order. You definitely have to have some expectations, some sort of gauge to measure the compatibility of a situation, but damn, some of this shit is entirely asinine. And in love, if it's not realistic, it's probably not possible. 

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

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    Author

    I, Kanika Vann (writer, author, editor, journalist, poet, publisher, and love enthusiast), created Love: Possible© with the intent to help save my sisters from the unnecessary pain that accompanies the acceptance of confusion, dysfunction, and disrespect in our romantic relationships, but not without calling special attention to our most valuable relationship—the one we have with ourselves.

    Subsequently, both my book and my website seek to help salvage our realistic expectations and eliminate our unrealistic beliefs. With these words, I aim to transform misconception into certainty, and disillusion into faith, in hopes that you'll each come to recognize who you are, what you are, and what you deserve.

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