You may very well be "as fine as wine," but if you can't compromise with your #man, you're basic. If all you have going for you is a good head game, you're #basic. You look #beautiful in your bodycon, but if you can't follow him just as often as you lead him, you're basic. Your hair is always laid, yeah; but if you won't encourage him, you're basic. Your #nails are always on point, but if you can't point him in the right direction or be his support system, you're basic. The shoes you rock are always name-brand, but your basic ass gets exhausted at the idea of standing by him when he's afraid. You love, love, love #Empire, #Scandal, and all of those mind-numbing, ratchet ass #Housewives/Ex-Wife/Baby Mama/Sex and Hip-Hop reality shows, but don't love, love, love your man. You saw what#RussellWilson and #Ciara did this weekend, but can't read your own man's body language or understand your need to comfort him when he gets home feeling defeated. #Ladies, this shit, here, is not about gender roles. This shit, here, IS NOT about servitude or submission. This–ALL OF THIS–is about #love, #respect, and your misplaced ass priorities. Ya'll want to be #wives so bad, but half of ya'll only want a man because#Beyoncè got one. Ya'll want #rings and #weddings and #honeymoons, not #marriages and #growth and #responsibilities. This love shit is#MichaelKors to many of you; an expensive watch, or new handbag that allows you to keep up with the Joneses. But that man is not an accessory. Stop thinking you are a legit all-in-one package, if all you possess is stuff and the heart of you is selfish. If you aspire to be wifey, but can't see beyond yourself, go back to bed, and keep dreaming. He's not an #ATM, not a punching bag, not a sale at #Nordstrom. Ya'll better get it right, because if he ever comes across the likes of a good one, you'll be back at the clearance rack. #BelieveIt!!
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible
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