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Just A Thought (Good Catch or Foul Ball): 

4/22/2016

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You may very well be "a good catch," but if you can't compromise with your ‪#‎woman‬, you're a waste of time. If all you have going for you is a good wood game, you're a waste of time. You look good on your suit and tie shit, but if you can't follow her just as often as you lead her, you're a waste of ‪#‎time‬. Your beard is always lined up and your fade is always fresh, but if you won't encourage her, you're a waste of time. Your ‪#‎FB‬and ‪#‎IG‬ show strangers that you’re “living the life,” but if you can't be her support system, she’ll soon be out of yours. Your kicks are always name-brand, but you’re exhausted at the idea of standing by her when she’s afraid. You ‪#‎love‬, love, love ‪#‎MTV‬, ‪#‎PornHub‬, ‪#‎NBATV‬, and ‪#‎ESPN‬, but don't love, love, love your woman. You saw what ‪#‎RussellWestbrook‬ wore into the locker room before watching ‪#‎OKC‬ play last night and heard that‪#‎BigSean‬’s ‪#‎mixtape‬ drops at midnight on ‪#‎iTunes‬, but can't read your own woman's body language or understand your need to comfort her when she gets home clearly and plainly defeated. This shit here, is not about gender roles. This shit here IS NOT about you running shit or being in charge. This–ALL OF THIS–is about love, respect, and your misplaced ass priorities. Today’s men seem to only want BAD BITCHES, but plenty of ya'll are broke, ‪#‎manipulators‬, ‪#‎liars‬, and ‪#‎abusers‬, which makes you both unqualified and undeserving of anything close to what you think she is. Ya’ll got ‪#‎SportsIllustrated‬/ ‪#‎SuperBowl‬/ ‪#‎Nascar‬/ ‪#‎MarchMadness‬/‪#‎NBAFinals‬ dreams; and therefore, lack the acceptance or have the expectation of real lives with real wives. This love shit is a damn‪#‎RickRoss‬ song to many of you; a ‪#‎Rolex‬, or a man bag that encourages you to keep up with the Joneses, instead of creating a ‪#‎family‬ of [insert your last name here]. But that woman is not disposable. She is not here “until the next shipment comes in.” She is not a back-up because your‪#‎weekend‬ plans fell through. If you aspire to be a husband, a father, or just an overall good ‪#‎man‬, but can't seem to see beyond yourself, go back to bed, and keep dreaming. Stop thinking you are a legitimately perfect package, if all you possess is stuff and the ‪#‎heart‬ of you is‪#‎selfish‬. She is not a toy, nor a child you have to sell illusions to, to protect her feelings. Ya'll better get it right fellas, because if she ever comes across the likes of a good one, you'll be begging like ‪#‎Babyface‬ to get her back. #BelieveIt!!
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible
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    Author

    I, Kanika Vann (writer, author, editor, journalist, poet, publisher, and love enthusiast), created Love: Possible© with the intent to help save my sisters from the unnecessary pain that accompanies the acceptance of confusion, dysfunction, and disrespect in our romantic relationships, but not without calling special attention to our most valuable relationship—the one we have with ourselves.

    Subsequently, both my book and my website seek to help salvage our realistic expectations and eliminate our unrealistic beliefs. With these words, I aim to transform misconception into certainty, and disillusion into faith, in hopes that you'll each come to recognize who you are, what you are, and what you deserve.

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