Just A Thought (Common Sense):

​I've never been one to believe or promote the idea that a woman's Earthly significance is solely tied into her becoming a wife or mother. However, it justifiably boggles my mind that we commit ourselves to situations that require just as much commitment, if not more commitment, than marriage, but let ourselves believe that we (or he) are ‪#‎NotReady‬. ‪#‎IDontGetIt‬. You have babies with him (life-long commitment), but you don't expect him to help raise them by your side. You tattoo each other's names on your body (that shit ain't going away, even if you cover it, redesign it, or "remove" it), but you can't stay together 😒. You have access to each other's bank accounts and have bills at each other's houses in each other's names (trust me, getting his name off of the DirecTv bill is just as tedious as divorcing him 😂😂😂), but won't get married. ‪#‎ItsJustFunnyToMe‬. Half of you are waiting for the right time. A few crazies are waiting for him to leave and/or divorce his wife 😐. A handful of you want a dream wedding, and thereby don't really understand the point of getting married in the first place. But I think the majoritity of you have at least one thing in common; you think that this is something that you were meant to do (religion, society, family pressures, etc.). And as an adult, you do what's best for you. But if you love him enough, trust him enough, and can depend on him...I say go for it, have babies if you want, or don't--up to you. But so many women have put the cart before the horse, and are now paying the price for it. You don't have to get married, but having kids with men that have no issue being bound to you, but aren't down for you is not the smartest thing you can do. Many of you want marriage, but fail to give him any reason to give it you. Why would he commit, when you tolerate everything he does, and still have his babies? Why would he commit, when he has access to cards and accounts that you pay for, with no responsibilities to do the same? Why would he commit, when he gets hot meals on a regular basis and comes and goes when he pleases? Why would he commit, when there are no expectations, no obligations, and no conseqences? Why would he commit, when you're his ride or die? Why would he commit, when no matter what he does, who he does, or where he goes, you'll take him back? Relationships don't have to be this hard, ladies. Commit to making yourself follow your own rules. Commit to making yourself match or exceed your expectations, and maybe you'll soon discover the kind of man you need. ‪#‎OneWhoCanCommit‬.
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-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible