Blog Archives

Just A Thought (New Year; New You):

12/31/2015

As 2016 approaches and we face the prospect of a new year, we must acknowledge our growth, and learn from our past mistakes. That means that if they showed their asses to you in 2015, that you don't turn around and decide to suffer some unexpected memory loss in 2016.
In 2016,
(1) Let's agree to make a change for the better,
(2) Let by-gones be by-gones (bye Felicia),
(3) Love ourselves better,
(4) Love ourselves most,
(5) Dismiss any and all foolishness,
(6) Refuse to accept 'less than,'
(7) Give our all to those who deserve it, and
(8) Get into the habit of allowing love to be the standard in all that we do, and in all that affects us.
I'm sending love to my Love: Possible family today, and thanking each of you for your support; for trusting my counsel, purchasing my book, sharing it with friends, and spreading the word that real love is possible--when we seek it for the right reasons and with the right people. I look forward to hearing from more of you (yes, I answer) and releasing new books in the new year. Enjoy the fireworks--whether you're making them, going out to see them, or both. Be safe. I'll see you in 2016!!!!!
Love,
Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Just A Thought (TBT; 2013):

12/31/2015

Why are you going through his phone; his Facebook or his Instagram; checking his email or sitting outside of his crib, if all you're gonna do after you find what you're looking for, is negotiate your worth? Why confront him time and time again over his disrespectful behavior, if all you're gonna do is beg him not to go? What's the point of telling your friends and family how much of an asshole he is, if you're not going to leave him? And why, oh why, do you cry and convince yourself to leave if you have zero intention of doing so? I'm convinced that some women love a cheater; a liar, an abuser. I'm convinced that "being in love" is how we've convinced ourselves that it's okay to be stupid. ‪#‎ItsNotOkay‬ Seriously, we gotta‪#‎GetAGrip‬. Love and relationships aren't supposed to be this hard. I mean; if you're gonna leave, leave. If not, just stay in your lane and let him cheat in peace. Shit, give him your blessing. But don't bitch about it. If you were really that mad, that embarrassed, that fed up, where would you be?‪#‎GONE‬!!!!! [Yeah; it is that simple]. ‪#‎ItMayHurt‬ ‪#‎ButALittlePain‬‪#‎IsBetterThanALot‬ ‪#‎TheChoiceIsYours‬ ‪#‎MakeIt‬ ‪#‎TBT‬ #2013
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Just A Thought (Rule of Thumb #49):

12/30/2015

Rule of thumb #49: You cannot make monogamy, honesty, or respect a relationship requirement unless you're willing to offer the same.‪#‎SeriouslyPeople‬!!! ‪#‎GetItTogether‬!!! ‪#‎WakeUp‬!!! You can't love your partner, respect your partner, or maintain a relationship while you run the streets, shop for replacements on Christian Mingle or Black People Meet, or make daily pit stops on your way home from work to play part-time lover to your friend with benefits. ‪#‎CmonYall‬!! That's some selfish shit. Not to mention dangerous, hurtful, and immature. And it's not right. So, you have a decision to make: ‪#‎LoveEm‬ or ‪#‎LeaveEm‬, but baby you can't have both. Trust me when I tell you that "both" leads to crime scenes, jail cells, higher insurance premiums, changed phone numbers, and new wardrobes. Shit, for some people, even the Witness Protection Program. Just save yourself the trouble and be an adult. ‪#‎DontDoIt‬!!!!
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Just A Thought (DUMB):

12/28/2015

He doesn't come home, so you fuss. He gets caught with other women, so you get mad. He says he was just hanging out, but you know differently. He cheated again; you know it. But he says, "I love you," and your heart flutters. You say you won't stay with a cheater, but won't leave him. You curse and cry and swear you hate him, but your mouth is moving a lot faster than your legs are. He does what he wants, who he wants, when he wants, so you call him 'dumb'. But it looks to me like you're the dumb one, especially since he keeps doing it. You're the one being abused, mistreated, and lied to--over and over. You make the rules but break and bend them for him--over and over. You call him 'weak', but I think you're the weak one. You tell him he doesnt know what love is, but from the looks of it, neither do you. Apparently, the same qualities you despise in him are the same ones you praise with yourself. In fact, the only difference between you two is that you're loyal to a fool, and his foolishnes keeps you loyal. ‪#‎Yup‬!!!
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Just A Thought (Once in a Lifetime):

12/26/2015

Love those once-in-a-lifetime people; anything 'less than' kind of defeats the purpose, don't you think?
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Just A Thought (Happy Holidays!!!):

12/25/2015

Happy ChristmaHanuKwanzaa Love: Possible family!!!! 'Tis the season to celebrate family, relationships, commitment, fidelity, honesty, and dependability. Ladies, love him like there is no tomorrow, and brothers, love her like she deserves to be loved. "No greater gift is there, than love."

Happy Holidays,
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Just A Thought (TBT; 2014):

12/24/2015

What don't you get? If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you. If he'll lie to get your attention, he'll lie to lay with you. If he only offers you a piece of him, you'll never be at peace with him. It's actually pretty simple ladies; if you willingly buy into his bullshit, you lose the right to complain about the smell. You know when his stories are bogus; when the assurances he's offering aren't genuine, you just want so desperately to believe—in him, in love, in something—that you forget to think. But losing your logic leaves your heart left to pay the price. And it's for that reason, that we have to‪#‎ThinkTwice‬. ‪#‎UseYourEyes‬, ‪#‎UseYourBrain‬, and ‪#‎FollowYourIntuition‬.‪#‎YouKnowExactlyWhatItIs‬ ‪#‎TBT‬ #2014
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Just A Thought (NOT ALL MEN; Just Some):

12/21/2015

Rule of thumb #36: NOT ALL MEN CHEAT, so why get into "relationships" and situationships with those that do? ‪#‎ThinkAboutIt‬!!! 💭💡
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Just A Thought (Manipulation):

12/18/2015

Who you are and what you are should only be elevated by love, not manipulated with it. ‪#‎Ijs‬... ‪#‎PayAttention‬!!! 😎👃👂👀
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Just A Thought (Emotional Baggage):

12/14/2015

Remember that ‪#‎emotional‬ ‪#‎baggage‬ isn't always reversible, but our‪#‎relationship‬ statuses are. Know that, YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF WHAT AFFECTS YOU. Don't accept ‪#‎bullshit‬ because you hate being ‪#‎single‬. Don't stay and deal with 'less than' because you hate being lonely. Being solo is better than being embarrassed, ‪#‎disrespected‬, ignored, and‪#‎unloved‬. You're not pathetic because you're single; you're not unworthy or difficult. If anything you've given yourself the chance to be happy;‪#‎BeHappy‬.
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Author

I, Kanika Vann (writer, author, editor, journalist, poet, publisher, and love enthusiast), created Love: Possible© with the intent to help save my sisters from the unnecessary pain that accompanies the acceptance of confusion, dysfunction, and disrespect in our romantic relationships, but not without calling special attention to our most valuable relationship—the one we have with ourselves.

Subsequently, both my book and my website seek to help salvage our realistic expectations and eliminate our unrealistic beliefs. With these words, I aim to transform misconception into certainty, and disillusion into faith, in hopes that you'll each come to recognize who you are, what you are, and what you deserve.

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