We contract ‪#‎STDs‬ from men who were never good for us. Get bruises and have ‪#‎babies‬ by men we're never supposed to be with. And have our‪#‎hearts‬ broken by ‪#‎men‬ who were undeserving of them to begin with. So, when will we realize that just because something feels good, that it doesn't make it good for us? If he makes us cry most of the time, and ‪#‎smile‬ only some of the time, is there really a ‪#‎conversation‬ to be had? If he has a multitude of ‪#‎women‬, and we just chock it up to the ‪#‎game‬ (you know that... "Oh, well, they don't mean shit, I know who I am to him" ‪#‎bullshit‬), we have lost our ever-loving minds. How many times does a man have to shit on you before you realize it's time to move? ‪#‎AtAllCosts‬, don't be a dumb ‪#‎bitch‬. ‪#‎TBT‬ #2013
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Rule of thumb #7, ladies: ‪#‎Please‬; ‪#‎IRepeat‬, please...‪#‎KnowWhoYoureInTheRoomWith‬. Women's biggest misconception about a man is that he will change, and her biggest complaint is that he has changed (...and not for the better). All fingers then, point to the fact that we're confused about how relationships work. Now, I won't sell you a lie: people change--men and women. It's nature. But if you‪#‎PayCloseAttention‬ in the beginning, you're more likely to know what direction his changes will take. If he's abusive, he'll likely become more abusive. If he's a liar, it WILL get worse. And if he's a hoe, well...I'm sure you all know the rest. Ladies, we're usually so blinded by love and it's newness that we forget to get to know him. ‪#‎Yes‬, we tend to know his favorite things, and ‪#‎No‬, we don't forget his ‪#‎birthday‬. But do we know him? Or have we just convinced ourselves that he's the real Slim Shady?‪#‎HeMayNotBe‬. ‪#‎FigureItOut‬ before you fall for him. Some of you are still hitting the ground--in every relationship--and have yet to figure out why. Well for many of you, ‪#‎ThisIsIt‬!!!
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

When I sat down to write Love: Possible©, I found it necessary to breathe life into words that would give hope to the hopeless, support to the brokenhearted, and direction to those who'd lost their way. Without a doubt, we've all known hurt, and part of that hurt (most typically) includes watching the one we love become a better man for the next woman. But take pride in the fact that (if she's happy), you made him a man, even if he wasn't the man for you. Take pride in the fact that right now, another woman is preparing the right one for you. Consequently, Love: Possible© was written "For My Cinderellas," those women who've spent years getting less than they deserve, but know that a worthy, loving, and more deserving man is mere moments away. ‪#‎TBT‬ #2013
​
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

LADIES, we are too damn old to believe in ‪#‎promises‬!!!!! We've endured too damn much to believe without ‪#‎seeing‬!!! We are too beautiful and more than worthy enough to gain his whole heart, but have managed to convince ourselves that half of it...shit, just some of it...is good enough for now. We are willing to endure his selfishness, abuse, and deceit because we think our stupidity will pay off later. [‪#‎Insanity‬!!!!] We've been lied to so much or have been dickmatized into believing that our weakness is sure to pay off when he's ready. [‪#‎Dreams‬!!!!] At this stage in the game, we should be seasoned beyond the point of stupidity, and wise beyond the point of desperation. I cannot say this loud enough: 🔊 WE GOTTA BELIEVE LESS OF HIS POTENTIAL, AND MORE OF HIS REALITY. 📢The possibilty (and likelihood) of change ain't shit compared to the proof he should be required to show to gain your heart, your trust, and your time. Ladies, stop being so fu€%ing stupid; we are simply too damn old to be this naive, and frankly, should love ourselves too damn much to accept his ‪#‎bullshit‬. I am soooo thankful to have been delivered from my youthful idealism, my happily-ever-after Disney mentality, my low self-esteem, and my empty acceptance for the mere presence of a man, when I honestly craved him in his entirety. ‪#‎GetAGrip‬ or ‪#‎BuyAToy‬... ‪#‎DoWhatYouMust‬...‪#‎Idc‬. But, ‪#‎YouveGotToLoveYourselvesMoreThanThis‬. ‪#‎TrustMe‬;‪#‎YoureWorthIt‬!!!
​
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Know that the mere want to be in love isn't enough. Our mouths may make claims for it, our bodies may have desires for it, but if our hearts are not open to it or prepared for it, we are wasting our time. ‪#‎TBT‬ #2012
​
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

‪#‎RealTalk‬; I preach this sermon all too often. If he's not trustworthy, why sit and scroll through his foolishness? ‪#‎WalkAway‬. If he's not trustworthy, what's the point in huffing and puffing if you'll just forgive him in a day or two? If he's not trustworthy, what good does more proof do? You're not leaving. And if you do, you're coming right back. See, ladies...you have to mean it when you say, "I deserve better." You have to believe it when you say, "I want a real man." You have to be certain that your ‪#‎happiness‬ matters more than his presence. You're not fooling anyone with your big, bad wolf routine. If he ain't shit, dump his ass. If he plays games, dump his ass. If he lies, dump his ass. And if you have to ‪#‎worry‬, ‪#‎stress‬, and fret over what you know to be true, don't second guess your ‪#‎intuition‬,‪#‎DumpHisAss‬.
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

If the ‪#‎universe‬ continuously offers you a way out of your relationship, take it; don't complain. Because 9 times out of 10, your logic and intuition gave you one or six opportunities to write his ass off before, and yet you chose to ignore them. ‪#‎ItAllHappensForAReason‬; embrace it, recognize it, and ‪#‎MoveOn‬. When you know that your relationship isn't "normal," fluid, or consistent, that's reason enough to get out of it. When you acknowledge that he just can't do what he's supposed to, ‪#‎ItsASign‬. When things never seem to add up, making it work is causing undue stress, and after every make up, you just can't seem to stay happy for very long,‪#‎GirlRun‬. You think, if only we weren't so in love, and yet so incompatible, we'd have a chance. ‪#‎Smh‬ [Side note: He's not "IT."] Everything you need to know is typically laid out before you. Every feeling of doubt has been validated multiple times, but you're still standing still. ‪#‎Why‬? If every choice he makes leads to you being unhappy, and there's nothing short of leaving him that changes that for you, ‪#‎Leave‬... ‪#‎NOW‬!!! If he's foul, trifling, disrespectful, or abusive, LEAVE NOW!!! If he can't keep his groin area to himself, don't chock that shit up to "Well, he's a man,"‪#‎DumpHisAss‬, and keep it moving. ‪#‎NoMoreExcuses‬!!!! It's time to go.
​

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

‪#‎Men‬ and ‪#‎women‬ express ‪#‎love‬ very differently. [‪#‎ComplexSimplicity‬] Women, by design (i.e., our brains) are more expressive, while men are more direct. I know; ‪#‎MarsAndVenus‬, right? But even with such differences, love is love, and we have to learn to recognize love in its simplicity the same way we've learned to identify it in its complexity.
​
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Ladies, please ‪#‎stop‬ abusing your ‪#‎men‬. I know we often associate abuse with the male species; however, women can be ‪#‎abusive‬ too, just typically in a different capacity. Yelling at him and belittling him doesn't help your ‪#‎relationship‬ to grow. Sticking your fingers in his face means you don't ‪#‎respect‬ him---and if you don't respect a man, you CANNOT be in a relationship with him. Threatening to leave him or forcing him to alienate his friends and/or ‪#‎family‬ creates animosity between the two of you, but also with the people he loves most. Using your children as ‪#‎bait‬never helps. And only being nice to him when he gets paid makes you more like his pimp than his partner. Ladies, ladies, ladies...please hear me; the same way you don't want to be ‪#‎manipulated‬ or ‪#‎manhandled‬(outside of the bedroom) is the same way he feels about your ‪#‎rejection‬,‪#‎ridicule‬, and lack of respect. The same way you desire to find solace in his smile and in his arms, is the same reception he wants from you. No one gets married or enters a relationship hoping to be warn down, but not everyone is strong enough or smart enough to leave it. So, ‪#‎ladies‬,‪#‎LoveYourMan‬, ‪#‎CherishYourMan‬, ‪#‎SupportYourMan‬, as long as he does the same. If not, ‪#‎DumpHisAss‬, but don't ‪#‎abuse‬ him. Let him be happier elsewhere, and may be you can do the same.
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Love doesn't make excuses and real men don't either. ‪#‎TBT‬ #2012
​
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible