Before we take the time to weigh who he/she is against all the things we want, or allow ourselves to contemplate the possibility of a relationship, we need to know if they can be trusted, if they're reliable, if they've come to us whole or broken, ready or ill-prepared, and if they offer us something of emotional value. These are the questions, ladies and gentlemen, that must be asked before attachments are made; the matters that must be addressed before the bedroom is discovered and things become complicated; what should be revealed before boxes are moved or vows are exchanged. Take a hard look at the man you've chosen; the woman you've chosen. Who is he/she? #BeHonest Too many of us offer our hearts without collateral. But we must know, that if we offer our hearts, we should expect something like his/hers in return. 

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

The person who changes your life for the better was, at one point, a stranger; just another face in the crowd, someone who knew nothing of your past or present, and possibly approached you with just the hope of knowing your name. And whether he or she became your friend, your love, or your God-send, you were led to him or her, drawn to him or her, and now you couldn't possibly live without him or her. If you are blessed enough to know love in this life (despite the form), appreciate it. Love is often spoken, but there are only a few who will show it to you, convince you of it, and prove it, time and time again. #LoveTheOneThatLovesYouWholly 

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Being his "Ride or Die," in most cases, isn't much different from being "Real Damn Dumb." It's one thing to be supportive of someone, and stand by them thorough thick, and through thin. But it's something totally different to be a damn doormat. Don't get so caught up in "loving him" that you become responsible for his responsibilities, or get stuck paying the price for his mistakes. Relationships are very much a joint endeavor. So, help when it's necessary, and cater when it's deserved. But under no circumstance should you choose to endure his laziness, his drama, or his okie doke bullshit so that you can look like Wonder Woman to an un-Superman. #LovePossible #SuperHero or #SuperZero 

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

If an ultimatum must be given, does he/she really want to be with you? It seems to me that if they truly desired to be with you, they'd do whatever was necessary to keep you, willingly—without force or persuasion. #IJS: Don't be stupid. The man/woman you want to be with, is the very person who'd do anything to be your everything! #WakeUp #StopSecondGuessing #YouKnowWhatItIs

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

LOVE OF SELF MAKES ALL THINGS POSSIBLE. It makes trust possible; it makes relationships possible; it makes love possible. The connection we share with the man/woman we love is a reflection of how we regard ourselves, in what we give, and in what we accept. Love ourselves beautifully, and we can love him/her beautifully. But failure to accept anything less than we deserve gives confirmation to others to do the same.#LoveYourself or no one else can. 

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

BELIEVE IN LOVE; even when you're knee deep in a pile of what used to be, wondering how you got there, and why it ended. #BePatient #WaitForLove #EveryEndingMarksANewBeginning

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Rule of thumb: If you ever feel the need to go through your man's shit, pack all of yours and roll out, because he's not yours. 

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

REMEMBER: You're all grown up, which means getting used to people who aren't. Not everyone is capable of loving you the way you need to be loved. Not everyone is selfless enough to fulfill your needs, mature enough to protect what you've built, or willing to regard what you share as sacred. So choose wisely, and stop trying to squeeze what's not meant for you, into the space reserved for what is.

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Love that man/woman or someone else will. Men think they "got you," and stop trying. BIG MISTAKE!!!! And ladies, you "get him" and let yourselves go. WRONG ANSWER!!!!! At minimum, be to your partners what you expect them to be for you; nothing less. #LoveHim #LoveHer

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

IF YOU WANT A GOOD MAN, BE A GOOD WOMAN. Good men are all around us, if we'd just take the time to see them. Problem is: most of us don't. Consequently, if all you want are losers, then good men will be unrecognizable. If you prefer thugs, sperm-donors, liars, abusers, and/or boys who are immature and duck responsibility, then good men will be invisible to you. We lose money, time, sleep, and tears when we chase boys; when we submit to boys, and live for boys. And our desire for them proves that we enjoy their games; so we can't complain that we're unhappy with them, if we sit back and allow real men to pass us by. 

Good men; grown men want more than your panties; they ALSO want your time, and your heart. Good men; grown men enjoy being needed and depended on; they don't run when it's time to support and protect you. Think about that the next time you have to take your baby-daddy to court for child support; the next time your "man" comes home with lipstick on his collar; the next time you get a call from what's her name; the next time the police come to your house because he's hit you again; or the next time you decide to sit up and wait for him to get home but he never gets there. Baby girl; let's make each of these circumstances the last time. Good guys don't disappear on their woman. They don't embarrass their woman. GOOD GUYS SIMPLY LOVE THEIR WOMAN. "Good" doesn't mean unattractive. "Good" doesn't mean pushover. "Good" doesn't mean boring. "GOOD" JUST GUARANTEES THAT HE'LL LOVE YOU. 

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible