Never be done with love; be done with dumb! Be done with lies, be done with games, be done with people who can't or won't give you what you deserve. In this moment, I beg you to never be done with love; instead, make the choice to be done with bullshit. #RefuseToBeUsed #RefuseToBeHurt #RefuseToBeMistreated #TBT

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Never taking a chance on love doesn't make you undefeated, it makes you inexperienced. Running away from your chance to love won't save you from pain, it only harvests regret. And hiding from a potential love won't keep you safe, it just keeps you selfish. #TeamLove...Join me!

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

You can't possibly focus on a romantic relationship if your penis or vagina is insecure, indecisive, or has A.D.D. The symptoms of such irresponsibility ultimately include: nausea, headache, anxiety, depression, and heartache. Some patients have even reported stress, child support orders, restraining orders, hospital stays, STDs, and criminal records as side affects. So please choose wisely. Forget what your panties say, or what your boxer briefs choose to tell you; dodge the BS when you see it, learn to leave the games for SportsCenter, and the tricks – for kids. Feelings aren't funny, and hearts aren't toys. Love is still sacred to most people, so Dishonesty and Uncertainty can lead to some dire consequences if we introduce them to the wrong people. My advice then, would be to #FocusMan, #ThinkTwice, and #PayAttention, because while heartbreak is a bitter pill to swallow, so are antibiotics, reality checks, and that tasteless soup in the ICU that you'll be forced to eat after he/she fu&#$ you up because they caught you cheating. #DontEndUpOnTheEveningNews

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

If you don't have reciprocity, compromise, or sacrifice in your relationship, YOU DON'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. Period! No need to second-guess it. If you have to track him down, look for him, or beg him to come home, he's not yours. If you have to check his trunk, scroll through his texts, or hack into his Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts, he's not yours. If he has any other women on his roster, outside of you (wife, girlfriend, side piece, jump-off, B.U.D.D.Y., or head doctor), he's not yours. And if you have to inspect his drawers, smell his dick, threaten other women, or hire a Private-I to keep tabs on him, he...is...not...yours! Ladies!!!!!!! Please, please get it through your heads, that if he does not love you willingly (without ultimatum, pressure, or trickery), HE IS NOT YOURS!#JustWalkAway; no bats, no bruises, no blasts on social media. Just walk away. If he can't love you wholly, you don't need him. And if he isn't willing to give up the bullshit so that your heart may know and understand the measure of real love, why are you still sitting there wondering what you can do to fix him? #FixYourself #HealYourself #LoveYourself #ThenFindAManWhoWillLoveYouThatWayToo

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

LET A MAN BE A MAN. If we hand him everything, serve him everything, and expect nothing more than his presence, we are setting ourselves up for an epic fail. As mothers, girlfriends, wives, and lovers we enable them, but call it by a different name: SUPPORT. Then, we have the nerve to be angry when they show no visible signs of responsibility. But, why would they? They've never had to work, worry, plan, bleed, sweat, or callus their precious hands, and yet we hand them sex, love, and the pleasantries of marriage on a silver platter with only the HOPE of reciprocity. We're trying to be Superwomen to bare minimum men. But it doesn't work that way. Yes, we should support him, but 'supporting' him simply means we stand by his side in times of trouble. Enabling him, on the other hand, transforms us into his knightress in shining armor and convinces us that it's normal to pay his rent, his child support, and his car note, when we shouldn't be. At some point, we stopped letting him handle his business. And it's 'cute' that we're down for him (when he adds nothing to us), but if he can't at least provide for himself, it's about time that we got up, and away from him. #IfHeCanLetHim #IfHeWontDumpHim 

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Why is it that a man fails to grasp and recognize the goodness of a real woman until he loses? Why can't he appreciate her love for what it is when he is approached with it, and be less impressed with life’s illusions? Why is he willing to lose—himself; his pride, his dignity, and his self-respect—for an opportunity to invest in everything wrong for him, when what's right for him is often staring him in the face? It bothers me that most "men" have to graduate from the depths of depression, hopelessness, and whoredom to love us wholly. #WTF 

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

It's time to stop becoming the man who hurt you; to stop becoming the circumstances that broke you; to stop becoming the tears that were forced from you, or the frowns imposed upon you. When did we start to become what others decided we should be? When did we choose to surrender our control? Or decide to love ourselves the least? These aren't hypothetical posts ladies; I have been each of you. But at some point, I had to learn to be me; to love me—MOST. He broke my heart; my spirit, and stole my smile, but I took it back. #PleaseBelieveIt #RobinHood #AndZorro #HaveNothingOnMe Stop wasting time worrying, crying, hating him and surrendering your joy. Be better ladies, not bitter. 

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Grown women aren't in the business of wasting time; so know, that if she's spending time with you, it's because she either loves you or likes you. When a woman wants to be with you, she always finds a way to get to you. And if she doesn't, well...you're just not "IT." Women will go through the fire for their man (or the man they want)—risking heartache, headache, backache, and sometimes common sense, just to be by his side. So fellas; respect her time, because she doesn't offer it to everyone. 

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

If you never feel good enough for the man you're with, you're with the wrong man. If you feel less than the woman you are, with him; for him, he ain't it, baby girl. The right man appreciates the little things you do; the little things you remember. He notices you. He embraces you and welcomes you. This secure, mature, and honest man loves coming home to you, loves your vulnerability, and knows it's part of his responsibility to protect it, not disrespect it. Point blank; he loves you--mind, body, and spirit. He takes pride in uplifting you, because you too, make him better. Don't be dumb, ladies. If your "man" fails to be all you need, #HesJustNotThatIntoYou. But there are more than a few men ready, willing, and able to put in the leg work to make you smile. #IfYouLetThem #PleaseLetThem

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

If you never feel good enough for the woman you're with, you're with the wrong woman. If you feel less than the man that you are, with her; for her, she ain't it brother. The right woman appreciates you serenading her (even if you sound like you're hacking up a lung). She appreciates the fact that you come home at night; that you provide for her, and make love to her. She loves that you are faithful to her, honest with her, and see her as your equal. Don't get it twisted; your best matters to her, if you matter to her. So stop second guessing yourselves, fellas. [#OhYesMenWorryToo] If you're having these issues, #ShesJustNotThatIntoYou. But there are plenty of women who'd like the opportunity to be. #IfYouLetThem #NoWorries

-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible