Blog Archives

Just A Thought (#RealLove):

4/29/2016

#‎RealLove‬ exists beyond appearance; beyond youth; beyond ‪#‎health‬ and acquired ‪#‎wealth‬. Real ‪#‎love‬ is having your best friend by your side through the ‪#‎good‬ and the ‪#‎bad‬, so that you never have to walk alone. This is the kind of love we all want. This is the kind of ‪#‎bond‬ that we all desire. We crave the ‪#‎dependability‬, the ‪#‎trust‬, the comfort of growing old with someone who's in it for the long haul. What a ‪#‎beautiful‬, ‪#‎heartfelt‬, and ‪#‎sincere‬ sentiment, and everything that love should be—whether we're 34 or 93.
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

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Just A Thought (Ijs):

4/29/2016

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‪#‎Ladies‬, do any of you recognize yourselves here? ‪#‎AShowOfHands‬, please!!! There are plenty of intelligent ‪#‎women‬ that fall to the wood; it's okay. But be sure that before you fall, he's willing to catch you. ‪#‎Ijs‬!!!! If he doesn't really ‪#‎want‬ you, please don't put yourself in this (or any other) position. You'll come out the loser every time.
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

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Just A Thought (TBT; 2014)

4/28/2016

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‪#‎RealTalk‬; I preach this sermon all too often. If he's not trustworthy, why sit and scroll through his foolishness? ‪#‎WalkAway‬. If he's not trustworthy, what's the point in huffing and puffing if you'll just forgive him in a day or two? If he's not trustworthy, what good does more proof do? You're not leaving. And if you do, you're coming right back. See, ladies...you have to mean it when you say, "I deserve better." You have to believe it when you say, "I want a real man." You have to be certain that your ‪#‎happiness ‬matters more than his presence. You're not fooling anyone with your big, bad wolf routine. If he ain't shit, dump his ass. If he plays games, dump his ass. If he lies, dump his ass. And if you have to ‪#‎worry‬, ‪#‎stress‬, and fret over what you know to be true, don't second guess your ‪#‎intuition‬,‪#‎DumpHisAss‬. ‪#‎TBT‬ #2014
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

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Just A Thought (For the Love of Likes):

4/27/2016

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You get 1k likes per day, but do you like yourself? You put your ass up on the bathroom sink and snap a filtered photo to show him what he's been missing. But what are you missing? You're ‪#‎wifey‬ material? But every picture he sees is of your MAC-covered face and your Gucci-covered ass? But what does your heart say? What does your heart want? To the world, you're thirsty for attention. But really you just want to be noticed, desired, craved, loved, and told that you're ‪#‎pretty‬. You're searching for the ‪#‎one‬, but instead settle for the likes of one thousand. Hey, that's better than nothing, you think. But you'd be wrong. It's your confidence, certainty, and strength that set you apart. Half of the women on social media are assed out, most of whom you can't compete with physically (because you can't afford the weave or the filters, or make the right connections to get the free, high-end clothes). To make a long story short, baby girl; there's nothing wrong with being you, being comfortable in your own skin. You want him to love you, but not even you have come to realize how to do that, and accept her. Your first mistake is that you're preparing to be conquered, but not loved. You're preparing your face, but not your thinking. You've readied your body, but not your expectations. A prepared ‪#‎woman‬ is a successful woman--in everything she does. Be ready for him, not just in want of him. If not, he'll become just another admirer of your ‪#‎face‬ and ‪#‎body‬, with no real idea of who you are.
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

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Just A Thought (Phoenix Flight):

4/26/2016

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I don't speak to you from a place of ‪#‎bitterness‬, but rather from a place of 'been there, done that stupid shit before.' I share my ‪#‎heart‬ with you, my concerns, and my ‪#‎wisdom‬ because I've been emotionally battered, and‪#‎broken‬ in two. [But I grew from my pain.] I don't look down on any of you. I have no pedestal on which I stand; no feelings of 'better than,' just a want to help each of you choose better and love better---whether that love is for you or for "us." ‪#‎LoveBetter‬, ladies. But ‪#‎love‬ wisely.
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

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Just A Thought (Still I Rise):

4/25/2016

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A man will always rise to the occasion for the woman he wants to be with. If you can't get him to budge; if he won't do things willingly, or he always has an excuse, YOU'RE NOT WHO HE WANTS, baby girl. ‪#‎HearMe‬!!! There's a reason why terrible fathers become great stepfathers. There's a reason that the man you couldn't get to commit now worships the ground‪#‎SHE‬ walks on. Mr. WTF always becomes Mr. Wonderful for the right woman. ‪#‎DontBelieveTheBullshit‬!!! If he's not right with you, he ain't right for you!!! ‪#‎YoureNotTheOne‬
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

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Just A Thought (Good Catch or Foul Ball):

4/22/2016

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You may very well be "a good catch," but if you can't compromise with your ‪#‎woman‬, you're a waste of time. If all you have going for you is a good wood game, you're a waste of time. You look good on your suit and tie shit, but if you can't follow her just as often as you lead her, you're a waste of ‪#‎time‬. Your beard is always lined up and your fade is always fresh, but if you won't encourage her, you're a waste of time. Your ‪#‎FB‬and ‪#‎IG‬ show strangers that you’re “living the life,” but if you can't be her support system, she’ll soon be out of yours. Your kicks are always name-brand, but you’re exhausted at the idea of standing by her when she’s afraid. You ‪#‎love‬, love, love ‪#‎MTV‬, ‪#‎PornHub‬, ‪#‎NBATV‬, and ‪#‎ESPN‬, but don't love, love, love your woman. You saw what ‪#‎RussellWestbrook‬ wore into the locker room before watching ‪#‎OKC‬ play last night and heard that‪#‎BigSean‬’s ‪#‎mixtape‬ drops at midnight on ‪#‎iTunes‬, but can't read your own woman's body language or understand your need to comfort her when she gets home clearly and plainly defeated. This shit here, is not about gender roles. This shit here IS NOT about you running shit or being in charge. This–ALL OF THIS–is about love, respect, and your misplaced ass priorities. Today’s men seem to only want BAD BITCHES, but plenty of ya'll are broke, ‪#‎manipulators‬, ‪#‎liars‬, and ‪#‎abusers‬, which makes you both unqualified and undeserving of anything close to what you think she is. Ya’ll got ‪#‎SportsIllustrated‬/ ‪#‎SuperBowl‬/ ‪#‎Nascar‬/ ‪#‎MarchMadness‬/‪#‎NBAFinals‬ dreams; and therefore, lack the acceptance or have the expectation of real lives with real wives. This love shit is a damn‪#‎RickRoss‬ song to many of you; a ‪#‎Rolex‬, or a man bag that encourages you to keep up with the Joneses, instead of creating a ‪#‎family‬ of [insert your last name here]. But that woman is not disposable. She is not here “until the next shipment comes in.” She is not a back-up because your‪#‎weekend‬ plans fell through. If you aspire to be a husband, a father, or just an overall good ‪#‎man‬, but can't seem to see beyond yourself, go back to bed, and keep dreaming. Stop thinking you are a legitimately perfect package, if all you possess is stuff and the ‪#‎heart‬ of you is‪#‎selfish‬. She is not a toy, nor a child you have to sell illusions to, to protect her feelings. Ya'll better get it right fellas, because if she ever comes across the likes of a good one, you'll be begging like ‪#‎Babyface‬ to get her back. #BelieveIt!!
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

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Just A Thought (Sale Items):

4/22/2016

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You may very well be "as fine as wine," but if you can't compromise with your ‪#‎man‬, you're basic. If all you have going for you is a good head game, you're ‪#‎basic‬. You look ‪#‎beautiful‬ in your bodycon, but if you can't follow him just as often as you lead him, you're basic. Your hair is always laid, yeah; but if you won't encourage him, you're basic. Your ‪#‎nails‬ are always on point, but if you can't point him in the right direction or be his support system, you're basic. The shoes you rock are always name-brand, but your basic ass gets exhausted at the idea of standing by him when he's afraid. You love, love, love ‪#‎Empire‬, ‪#‎Scandal‬, and all of those mind-numbing, ratchet ass ‪#‎Housewives‬/Ex-Wife/Baby Mama/Sex and Hip-Hop reality shows, but don't love, love, love your man. You saw what‪#‎RussellWilson‬ and ‪#‎Ciara‬ did this weekend, but can't read your own man's body language or understand your need to comfort him when he gets home feeling defeated. ‪#‎Ladies‬, this shit, here, is not about gender roles. This shit, here, IS NOT about servitude or submission. This–ALL OF THIS–is about ‪#‎love‬, ‪#‎respect‬, and your misplaced ass priorities. Ya'll want to be ‪#‎wives‬ so bad, but half of ya'll only want a man because‪#‎Beyoncè‬ got one. Ya'll want ‪#‎rings‬ and ‪#‎weddings‬ and ‪#‎honeymoons‬, not ‪#‎marriages‬ and ‪#‎growth‬ and ‪#‎responsibilities‬. This love shit is‪#‎MichaelKors‬ to many of you; an expensive watch, or new handbag that allows you to keep up with the Joneses. But that man is not an accessory. Stop thinking you are a legit all-in-one package, if all you possess is stuff and the heart of you is selfish. If you aspire to be wifey, but can't see beyond yourself, go back to bed, and keep dreaming. He's not an ‪#‎ATM‬, not a punching bag, not a sale at ‪#‎Nordstrom‬. Ya'll better get it right, because if he ever comes across the likes of a good one, you'll be back at the clearance rack. ‪#‎BelieveIt‬!!
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

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Just A Thought (TBT; 2014):

4/21/2016

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Most often, in our relationships, we don't get what we give; we get what we accept. And I'd be willing to bet that those of you who need to start over are so afraid of losing your "man," to find someone more compatible that you sit there and settle for less than you need, which leads to the acceptance of foolishness, confusion, hopelessness, bitterness, and ultimately unhappiness. Someone's reading this thinking: "Having someone is better than having no one." And believe me, ‪#‎IGetIt‬. But emptiness is emptiness, whether he's there nightly to help warm your sheets or not. We have to be honest about what we're experiencing, what we're feeling, and what we're doing because perpetuating this cycle is what leads to our brokenness. Promises mean what? And potential has nothing to do with the present. For some of you, it's simply time to #WalkAway #NoMoreFear #NoMoreSettling #FewerPoorChoices #BeInControlOFWhatAffectsYou. #‎TBT‬ #2014
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

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Just A Thought (Bundle Package):

4/19/2016

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Just because ya'll live together or he lets you spend the night doesn't mean he's committed to you. He may have needed someone to help him pay bills, or get that NBA Tv bundle package, and the added benefit of benefits (that would be you) just so happened to move in with the boxes. *side eye* ‪#‎Ijs‬... Before hand, after the fact, and here and there, you need to revisit those ‪#‎TermsAndConditions‬!!! Don't co-sign or main sign shit, until you know it's real. I've been trying to tell ya'll for a few years now, that for many people, relationships are a means of survival, not a love experience or gateway to potential growth. Stop dating your roommates!!!‪#‎YouDeserveBetter‬!!!!
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

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Author

I, Kanika Vann (writer, author, editor, journalist, poet, publisher, and love enthusiast), created Love: Possible© with the intent to help save my sisters from the unnecessary pain that accompanies the acceptance of confusion, dysfunction, and disrespect in our romantic relationships, but not without calling special attention to our most valuable relationship—the one we have with ourselves.

Subsequently, both my book and my website seek to help salvage our realistic expectations and eliminate our unrealistic beliefs. With these words, I aim to transform misconception into certainty, and disillusion into faith, in hopes that you'll each come to recognize who you are, what you are, and what you deserve.

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