Fellas, please DON'T confuse her not needing to depend on you financially with not needing you. Those worlds are miles apart.
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible
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#Message: We have to learn to value what's important and what's substantive over what's simply visible, because 'pretty without purpose' may make you play, but it won't make you stay. The reality of it all is that: #BeautyFades #AssesDroop #BreastsSag, #GutsForm, and#PenisesStopWorking; and in time, #Wrinkles will find you...but #Love and#Dependability are not only invaluable, but #LongLasting. Here and now, we've got to make the choice to invest more in the make and less in the model.
-Kanika A. Vann Author, Love: Possible You have to believe that in time, #LOVE, #KARMA, #TIME, and #GOD find a way to replace all you've lost (or thought you lost) with the sole purpose of replacing it with something (or someone) better; to add to who you are, to change who you are, to build upon who you are!!! #StopFightingIt!!!!#QueSeraSera... #WhateverWillBe #WillBe!!! #LetItHappen#LostAndFound
-Kanika A. Vann Author, Love: Possible Living well is the best revenge. So when our relationships end, we have to stop trying to make him feel bad because he's moved on. We have to stop trying to make him realize what he's missing now that he's gone. We have to stop complaining to anybody who has ears about how he failed to recognize us or love us. #HisFault; #NotYours. And we have to stop caring about someone who, at the very least, cared very little about us (in some instances, he may have actually loved us enough to leave). What typically happens is that we love with everything that we are, but begin to care very little for ourselves and we compromise so much for the other person that we lose ourselves when they walk away. He left and now YOU don't know who YOU are. But you have to find her, rediscover her and acknowledge who she is, without him. In short, you've got to live, and live well. It's truly the best revenge.
-Kanika A. Vann Author, Love: Possible In the arms of a #man, there's certainty. In the presence of a #boy, there's confusion. #WhosOnYourTeam? Or better yet, #WhoShouldBe?
-Kanika A. Vann Author, Love: Possible To all of my brothers who've read (or are currently reading) Love: Possible, you may also want to read this article. I've never been a Cosmo reader, but this here, was pretty on point. And don't mind Beyoncé, she has nothing to do with these words. But I think it's important for you guys to understand the roles you play in the lives of grown, self-sufficient women. She needs you, #TrustMe, just not in the most traditional capacity. Dinners and money won't get the job done here. So get ready to pull that rabbit out of your hat. You're not expected to be rich or extravagant, but you do have to bring some creativity and spontaneity to her door step. Are you up for the challenge?
-Kanika A. Vann Author, Love: Possible #Control has NO place in love...and what many find out the hard way is that when you choose to be in a #relationship with a man who controls it (and YOU), he has all of the power in the relationship. #AllOfIt!!! If you're begging him not to leave you (when he's the one that fu^%*d up), he knows he can have his way. If you're overlooking inappropriate behavior, your limits, standards, and expectations become null and void, and therefore, don't matter. And if he knows he has no consequences, what do you think he's going to do? #PlayersPlay. #Hard. But seriously, why would any adult want to be with someone they have to parent? [It doesn't matter, in this instance, whether you're the good guy or the bad guy, the predator or the prey.] If ya'll gotta babysit, somebody in the relationship isn't ready for a relationship. When he loves you, he's loyal; he's helpful; he's motivating. But when he's insecure and controlling, he takes advantage of you; he belittles you; he #manipulates you; he lies to you, and ultimately, he shapes you for his purpose. Control, ladies, is not#love. And love is NOT compromising everything that you are and everything you believe to please him or make him feel at ease. Each time he controls you with his tongue, his fists, or his actions, you lose a little more of yourselves. #TrustMe. And let's not confuse this with guidance, or a genuine concern for your well-being; those things center around his caring for you. Control, on the other hand, is selfish, cruel, and conniving. Care has '0' to do with that equation.
-Kanika A. Vann Author, Love: Possible The only thing that men and boys have in common is a #penis (although sizes may vary), AND IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT WE STOPPED CONFUSING THE TWO. With men, you get intimacy, respect, and #love (in addition to what he offers between the sheets), not to mention#commitment, #security, and #stability. With boys, you get #games, #lies, disappearing acts, empty #promises, and an overflow of #tears. You also stand the likelihood of walking away with a #bump, or seven (what kind is still up for debate...yay, coin toss). Oh, and did I mention, the innovative and groundbreaking #excuses, all the girls ready to beat your ass in the name of his childishness, and the minutes he offers in lieu of the moments you deserve? [In his defense, moments are expensive.#SMH!!! #Sarcasm.] Yeah, that boy sure sounds like a keeper. Point being: some of you ladies are out here vying for the #attention (any kind of attention) of males, when only grown men should be given the time of day. We've got to #PayAttention and #StopWastingTime; we aren't given much to begin with.
-Kanika A. Vann Author, Love: Possible If you cannot (or should not) trust him, it would be wise not to allow your heart to love him!!!! #Period
-Kanika A. Vann Author, Love: Possible |
AuthorI, Kanika Vann (writer, author, editor, journalist, poet, publisher, and love enthusiast), created Love: Possible© with the intent to help save my sisters from the unnecessary pain that accompanies the acceptance of confusion, dysfunction, and disrespect in our romantic relationships, but not without calling special attention to our most valuable relationship—the one we have with ourselves. CategoriesArchives
April 2017
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