We remove apps from our phones and things from our homes when we no longer have good use for them; when we outgrow them, or they no longer match our decor. So why wouldn't we move men/women to the side when they no longer benefit us? While I understand the hesitation you may experience in regards to moving him/her out of your life, it is absolutely vital that we assess his/her purpose in our lives and his/her role in our space. Why is he/she around, if he/she no longer adds to you? Why are we wasting time in it, if he/she can't elevate you? If he's/she's no longer relevant, why are you making excuses for it? It's time to remove the clutter and make room for what should be. ‪#‎TomorrowIsTrashDay‬!!!‪#‎LetsGetToWork‬!!! ‪#‎TBT‬ #2012
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

If his leaving you still hurts 2 years later, 5 years later, 10 years later; it's not the end of the relationship that you're upset about. If you're asking your mutual friends about his new girlfriend, or stalking his social media pages in the aftermath of your love experience, it has nothing to do with wanting him back. The reason you can't let go--short of being a 1/4 cup of crazy--may be that you're unable to figure out what's wrong with you; why you weren't good enough; and why you weren't enough to fight for. Which means it's your ego that can't handle reality. Listen... whether he left you for good reason, no reason, or a shitty reason, he's gone. And if he didn't appreciate you, be thankful that's he's gone. If he didn't love you, be thankful he's gone. If he didn't treasure you, be thankful he's gone. We spend so much time trying to hold on to something, when it's nothing. And that's a problem. It's a problem because somehow "just having" that "something" validates us, even when it fails to satisfy us. Stop JUST wanting a man. Stop JUST having a man. Stop JUST desiring a man. And make a decision to WANT a loving man, BE IN A RELATIONSHIP with a caring man, and SETTLE FOR NOTHING LESS THAN an honest man, a faithful man, a responsible man. The inability to let go ultimately rests in how you see yourself. The inability to walk away means that you believe yourself to be the best fit for this person, even if they happen to be opposite for you. It's okay to not be compatible. It's okay to grow apart. It's okay to have a greater chemistry with someone else. Your tears cleanse you and time heals you, but in order to grow and prepare yourself for the man that you're worthy for, you've got to let HIM go.
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Ladies, at what point will we recognize the power we possess? Every woman reading these words is in control of her destiny. Every woman reading these words is in control of her relationship. She dictates whether she stays or goes; what is acceptable and unacceptable; what hurts her and what heals her; who loves her and who leaves her; what breaks her and what builds her. This is ALL dictated by who she allows in her head, her bed, her space, and her heart. She controls who she entertains. She controls who she believes and what she believes. So no, I don't blame men for all of her troubles, because ‪#‎SheMakesChoices‬!!! He may very well be a variable, but us ladies...we're the drivers; the "allowers," the enablers, the pacifiers, and the gatekeepers. I don't want to hear anything more about what he's done to you unless the story begins with "what you've done to you." Nothing happens that we don't allow. If your legs work, there is no excuse. If your ears work, there is no excuse. If your eyes, work, dammit girl....I don't want to hear the bullshit. ‪#‎WomanUp‬; you're in charge. It's about time that you act like it.
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

Men complain about women because they don't know how to love them. Women complain about men because they don't understand how to love themselves. ‪#‎TBT‬ #2014
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

We have an obligation to stay awake; to see things for what they are and people for who they are. Once we see him for what he is, we should never unsee it. Forgiving him doesn't require that we dwell in the past, but it does require that we grow from the experience, use of our discernment, and not repeat the same mistakes. ‪#‎Ijs‬; ‪#‎PayAttention‬!! If you go back, that's your choice. But at the very least, don't go backwards.
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

The exterior may be what catches the eye, but the quality of ingredients is what matters most. ‪#‎TricksAreForKids‬, and so is all of the other‪#‎superficial‬ BS!!! Choose a man that actually is one!!!
-Kanika A. Vann 
Author, Love: Possible

Rule of thumb #89: Sometimes losing is actually winning!!!‪#‎ThinkAboutIt‬!!! All relationships weren't meant to be. We attempt to salvage them when they're failing; fix them, although they're broken; and damn near kill ourselves hoping to resurrect them. But despite our hard work, the ‪#‎relationship‬ crumbles. Most likely, because it wasn't built to last. It's something we must come to grips with, but that acceptance doesn't come easily for most. But think about it----if it was meant to last forever, why isn't it working? Why are you unhappy? And why isn't he fighting just as hard as you to hold on? [I'm waiting.] ‪#‎BecauseItsOver‬, and time to find a ‪#‎Love‬ that loves you back!!!
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible

In most instances, I’d say that it’s our own lack of intelligence; our blind naivety and persistent stupidity that keep us trapped in inferior relationships with men, as we don’t realize until it’s too late that a good man gives us what’s right, not what’s left. We can’t give up anything and everything for love when it fails to give to us in return, or love and love and love; and give, and give, and give without some proof of why we should.
Ladies, believe me when I tell you: there’s no reward in loving him greatly, unless he’s willing to love us back that way. And there’s no glory or acclaim that will come from putting our heart and soul into a man who could care less about our presence. We hear over and over again that we don’t give to receive, and that love is love’s reward. But if we’re dumb enough to love a man wholeheartedly without ever having been convinced of any reason to, there will be no one else around to blame but ourselves, no other tears to dry but our own, and no other heart to mend but the one we’ve allowed him to break.
Love and loyalty mean very little to men who don’t love us in return. Breaking our back, busting our humps, and going out of our way won’t help us to win him over, if he’s indifferent about us being there from the start. The only thing that those virtues will ever spell out in his book are that we’re willing to let him play, or don’t have a problem waiting for him to love us back, no matter how long it takes. [And uh; that would be a “hell no” for 600 Alex!!!] So if we know it isn’t love, we must not allow ourselves to waste time in it. ‪#‎TBT‬ #2013
-Kanika A. Vann
Author, Love: Possible
Track 5: Love is Blind
Pages | 78-79

There is always something to be thankful for: your right mind, an able-body, lessons that became blessings, and even mistakes that became opportunities. In the same breath, there is still so much to strive for. Everyday, you can become a better you. Everyday, you can appreciate the sunset more than you did the previous day, or love your partner better...shit, love yourself better than you did yesterday. But most of us waste our days on sorrow and unhappiness, tolerating foolishness instead of embracing happiness. We spend them with fools; crying, wishing, and praying for better, instead of smiling, dancing, and creating better. I say all of this to say that, you may not think that where you are is a bad place, because he doesn't hit you; he only cheats...but there is room to grow. You may not think that your relationship is that bad because although he disrespects you, he comes home at night...but baby girl, there's better. In love, we should constantly strive for better, because that's what love is, or should be. If he DOES NOT add to you in a positive, productive way,‪#‎LetHimGo‬!!!! If he is present physically, but not emotionally, meaning he lays down beside you every night, but you're still alone, ‪#‎WalkAway‬!!! If he only yells and screams, but hasn't hit you yet, ‪#‎PackYourShit‬ (or his)!!! And if you're trying to justify his lies to your own damn self, girl.....‪#‎DumpHisAss‬!!! ‪#‎Love‬ doesn't confuse us and love doesn't abuse us. Ladies, if you choose to deal with less than from your man, you apparently value the "us" more than you.
-Kanika A. Vann 
Author, Love: Possible

He's abusing you, altering you, and breaking you down, and you don't even realize it:
"Mentally mature men have no intention of cheating. Wisdom won't allow him to commit to a woman if he's unready to give all his attention to ONE. Cheating is for insecure cowards. It's not about sex. If it were, cheaters would just remain single to sleep with as many people as they wanted, then it wouldn't be cheating, and they wouldn't be cheaters. Cheating is about control. Filling insecurity. Cheating acts as a way to hold a loyal person's heart hostage, while the other behaves as if they're single. They could just end it, and sleep around, but they WANT to stay "committed," and make you suffer, to gain power from your pain."
​
-Ebrahim Aseem
Author, Why Men Cheat Part 2